Hi guys!
This is a very special first blog post, which will be included in a series of four spread out over the course of this fall. I have been given the unique opportunity by Propel® to blog for their new community called You.Propelled. Basically, this is a motivating program for women to seize the moment and enhance their lives through positive changes and perspectives. I wholeheartedly agree with the You.Propelled mission and am looking forward to partnering with them this fall to reach out to more women in a positive way.
I know most of you are familiar with my personal story of coming to a healthy balance but I thought it was appropriate to share again today. Obviously I haven’t always been at this balanced state for my entire life…it took a lot of baby steps to get to the comfortable place I am today regarding my body, mind and health. There was a time, I tell you, when I stayed up all night long worrying about the chocolate milk shake I had drank or the extra cookies I consumed. I played the calorie game in my head constantly and the gym, sadly, was a place where I would burn off as many calories as I could just so I could eat more later on. The mirror was my enemy and like many teenage girls, I constantly fought a battle in my mind over whether I was really good enough. I look back now at the shattered mindset I had back then and want to cry.
To be totally honest, I’ve always had a thin figure and a fast metabolism. My mom was a healthy cook and every night my family ate homemade meals together at the dinner table. I never once worried about my appearance in high school because I was always surrounded by the positivity of my family, my church and my friends. Calories never even crossed my mind, if you can even believe it. And then I graduated high school. I had my first sip of a beer after high school graduation and had a little too much fun at college parties and late night eating. Let’s just say I gained the freshman fifteen in about two months and for the first time, I looked in the mirror and wasn’t satisfied. I rushed a sorority that first year of college and, again, for the first time I was surrounded by girls who were obsessed with their image and weight. I could feel myself spiraling downwards at a fast pace, and soon it became habit to track calories, try a new diet every week (whatever was the rage at the sorority house) and work out like a fiend. Did I lose weight? No. Was I happy? Certainly not.
The cycle went on for a year and a half. Finally, I broke down. I quit college (can you believe that?!) and moved home to reevaluate my life and pull the pieces of myself back together. I had buried the real Jenna so far down that I didn’t even know who I was anymore….and I was only 19. While I was home, I worked full time, talked to a counselor and got back into yoga and my faith. At the time I thought I was depressed, but I think I was just lost. It was very, very difficult but I weaned myself off of food journaling, calorie counting and other negative behaviors. I stopped going to the gym all together and started practicing yoga daily instead. I picked back up the bible and sat in the back pew of my old church every Sunday. Slowly, Jenna was coming back.
It took a long time and many baby steps to find the balance that works in my life today. Its been five and a half years since the day I reached my breaking point and started to build myself back up again, slowly but surely. Did I lose the freshman fifteen? Yeah…but not on any crazy diet. I lost the weight by quitting the college parties and late night eating. When I moved to Charleston to finish college I started walking everywhere and continued practicing yoga five or six days a week. My diet was clean, but not overly so. I came to the realization that losing ten pounds really, in the grand scheme of things, would not make me any happier. Happiness comes from within, not from the image reflected back to you in the mirror. You may think that if you could just lose those extra five pounds you will reach ultimate happiness in life but let me tell you, you will not. When you stop stressing out about it is when you find the true beauty in yourself.
This post is sponsored by Propel® for the You.Propelled Program
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i love this jenna, you truly are an inspiration
can’t wait to read more
Love this post Jenna. You write so well and are honest about your story and the path to get you where you are now. It’s very inspiring to read about someone who has made a positive change in their life, so thank you!
I gotta admit, I got a lot happier when I lost my weight! :\ Of course, the lifestyle changes I made that led to that weight loss are probably where much of the happiness comes from. But still, it’s nice to like what I see in the mirror now
Beautiful post, Jenna. I have to say that I think you have the healthiest attitude regarding food–you eat what you want in moderation and it is so refreshing to see someone who doesn’t stress when ultra-healthy food isn’t available or when you eat a bit more than you needed to to feel satisfied. I truly admire your mindset towards food and fitness!
great post! words for all of us to live by!
Thank you Jenna so much for sharing your story. Reading stories like yours inspires me to regain the focus and balance I had in my life, perhaps also before the days of college parties.
Great post Jenna! I’m liking this You.Propelled program a lot.
I think I’m currently on the journey to find a healthy balance. For the most part I’m a happy, healthy girl, but once in a while I feel myself slipping into older, more obsessive habits. Blogs like yours are such an inspiration and a reminder that balance is important, not strict rules!
You know I love this topic!
The great thing about the blogging community is that we can all empower one another to stop the negative self-talk and love ourselves. Life is way too short for anything else, and there is just so much more that’s important out there.
Wow, so inspirational! It really is true, happiness is not about a number on the scale, or being “skinny”. You hit the nail right on the head with this one. Thanks for such a positive post that most likely affect a bunch of people in positive ways!
I needed to read this today. Wonderful post Jenna, loved it.
Lovely post Jenna! And thanks, I needed to read something like that today.
what a great post jenna!
Jenna:
Thanks so much for sharing your story and congrats on the Propel deal!
Jenna,
You are so inspiring and your story and spirit are so uplifting. You make me realize that it doesn’t matter if I gained 2lbs or have a breakout, in the grand scheme of things. Kudos on an awesome post!
Fantastic post with a wise, refreshing perspective. Thanks again for sharing your story and being such a relatable figure. The health community thanks you!
I am very happy that you have found something that works for you and are in a place that makes you happy, but I don’t understand how your blog is any different than food journaling? Thoughts?
beautiful post jenna!! I am currently on that quest. Although I am also currently dealing with an pretty intense bout of IBS I know that someday that real Ashley will start to come back and I will feel healthy and alive again. You are an inspiration. Thank you!!
Jenna,
Thanks for this post. I was really very frustrated over this weekend with few people obsessing over my weight loss like I was a freak out of Ripley’s believe it or not..after a few words you want people to go beyond your appearance and make more meaningful conversations.
I have struggled with disordered eating and have just recently come to a point where I can say I’ve put it in the past.
Thank you so much for sharing your struggle and journey with us; hearing about your success is so uplifting! You are a fabbbb role model
thanks for clarifying jenna!
So beautiful, so true, so inspiring. Love you Jenna!
Wow! That was an amazing post! I feel the same way now as you did when you were 19. I feel like if I just loose the extra weight, BAM! My life will be perfect and I will be happy. It’s nice to know that there are others who have gone through this, and have made it out healthy!
I look forward to your posts everyday! Keep it up! Thanks so much for your inspiration:)
This was a very great post Jenna! I completely can relate (not to the fast metabolism/gaining weight in college part) but to the excessive exercising, constantly thinking about my calories, burning off in order to eat/drink more later part. You’ve come so far, found a great path, and have found special people who support you along the way. It’s so TRUE! How on earth can you enjoy life if you don’t enjoy yourself first?!
Reading this is like reading about myself (minus the turning my life around, finding who I am again, and losing the excess wait part…but hopefully that is to come in my future?!). I truly loved reading this post because it really helps girls like me realize that we are not alone, calorie counting and all. Anyways, I do hope you continue to write posts like the one above every so often. It really hit close to home and currently has me re-evaluating my life and the direction to which I would like it to go. Thank you Jenna!
what a beautiful post! i went through a similar experience and just love what you have to say. thanks so much for sharing, Jenna!
great cool post! thanks for sharing! a real timely reminder for me!
and the bible quote too! have a great day!
Amazing, Jenna! I’ve been reading your blog for a couple of months and never knew that about you. I just admire you so much because you eat healthy- and enough- but still enjoy the food and aren’t obsessed with calories. And you exercise to feel good, not to lose weight. Your earlier obsession with weight is sort of like me. I’m 16 and a recovered bulimic, but I still struggle with anorexia and occasional binge eating. I’ve been doing this since I was 11 and I’m sick of it! Right now I’m trying to gain a little weight- healthily, not by bingeing on junk food!- and be happy with my body again. Hopefully I can make the change that you did. You’re really inspiring, thanks so much for sharing your story. xx
Wow, thank you! It is nice to know that someone else went through the same thing as I did in college! Except that I was on the diet pills and got really really scary skinny looking…
Now, I respect my body. Yoga, running, and triathlon really does help with that! Now, I focus on what my body can do and how it feels, NOT how it looks. Thank you again for your honesty!
Great stuff Jenna! I really like your bikini by the way!
I just started reading your blog this week and found this post! It is so good to know that I’m not the only one who had to consciously grow myself out of negative body image/eating/exercising/self-esteem habits in college. I’m now about to graduate and have the best relationship with my body ever! Following blogs like yours really helps me stay motivated and mindful of how I got to where I am today.
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